The Art of Matchmaking: How To Make a Match

Mr. Weston would never marry again.

Pish posh!

Emma had witnessed a fondness between him and Miss Taylor ever since the day their paths crossed on Broadway-lane. Upon returning from their wedding, Emma boasts to her father and Mr. Knightley of how she “planned the match from that hour.”

“Where is your merit?” Mr. Knightley asks. “What are you proud of? You made a lucky guess; and that is all that can be said.”

“A lucky guess is never merely luck. There is always some talent in it. If I had not promoted Mr. Weston’s visits here, and given many little encouragements, and smoothed many little matters, it might not have come to any thing after all.”

This installment of The Art of Matchmaking provides a guide to the talent of how to make a match. 

Copy of Matchmakers in History

Best practice requires reflection of each person’s attributes and cares.

H A R M O N Y occurs when persons share . . .

  • an attraction to one another,
  • strong work ethic,
  • agreeable personalities,
  • social status,
  • and integrity.

D I S C O R D occurs when persons differentiate on matters of . . .

  • faith,
  • geography,
  • political views,
  • lifestyle,
  • future goals,
  • and timing.

Though discrepancies in a pairing assure frustrations, a pairing may very well overcome them. And perfect equals in harmony makes no promise of matrimony.

A matchmaker must rely on discernment and remember the objective is to join lovers, not fighters.

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Design a first impression with your match’s comfort in mind. While those more accepting of matchmaking will appreciate a direct approach, timid subjects will need the persuasion and time that the subtle approach grants.

S   U   B   T   L   E

T H E  A P P R O A C H  orchestrates the briefest of meetings free of any nod to matchmaking attentions, taking care not to linger. From there, arrangements are made in order for them to become familiar.

It is clear Miss Emma Woodhouse favored the this technique for she used it not only with  Mr. Weston and Miss Taylor when she “promoted Mr. Weston’s visits here, and given many little encouragements, and smoothed many little matters” but with Mr. Elton and Harriet Smith as well.

Emma extended invitations for Mr. Elton to visit Hartfield when Harriet was present; prompted compliments; and treaded behind on a walk so they might share the path together.

Once familiarity is established, hinting or sharing suspicions of their compatibility is recommended lest they come to see each other as only friends.

P O S I T I V E S  include One encourages a natural romance, and Two offers less risk.

N E G A T I V E S  include One requires more effort matchmaker (to arrange meetings); Two needs a great deal of time; and Three because of its nature, ideas of romance may never be realized.

* Emma foolishly confides her matchmakings to Harriet from the beginning which leads to undo heartbreak.

Heart in the clouds? Read two techniques to happy matchmaking!  TwitterLogo_2017

 D   I   R   E   C   T

T H E  A P P R O A C H  address one person to measure their interest of anonymous other, based upon the matchmakers description. This introduction should be accompanied by a picture and describe their core compatibility.

(If the core values of one party are unbeknownst to the matchmaker, inquires are made. Questions such as: What are your goals for the future?)

Depending on the answer received from the first, the matchmaker addresses the second in a similar fashion. With both in agreement, a direct meeting or contact is established.

P O S I T I V E S  include One asks little of the matchmaker beyond introductions; Two needs only a small time commitment; and Three immediately establishes an interest and romantic thread.

N E G A T I V E S  include One surprises; Two requires more risk; and Three because of its nature, certain personalities could take offense and timid hearts could retreat.

What are deal breakers or deal makers for you? Do comment below! 

More from the Art of Matchmaking Series thinbanner




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